Udder Cheese wanted to be an astronaut when he was a boy but "...how
you gonna do that when you have no arms, legs or hands??? No one takes
you serious when you are cheese -- especially people who are lactose
intolerant! There's a lot of discrimination out there against
cheese. But at least I'm not a Limburger or Roquefort or something like
that! At least no one ever calls a Cheddar 'Stinkie Cheese.' So there's
some light at the end of the tunnel for me. It's not easy being cheese."
Udder
still bears some horrible scars from his youth, stemming from the
wounds he suffered when he was originally cut from the cheese wheel of
his birth. "But Cheddar has always been a good boy," says his mother, Mild Cheddar. "His
father was always tough on him and thought that he could one day be
president or something and I told him that he had to stop driving the
boy -- he was just not cut out for that." His father, Sharp Cheddar
is now serving time in a maximum security prison in Asia somewhere, for
his part in an incident that left a man with incredible bouts of
intestinal binding. He is expected to be released sometime in the next
decade.
